Saturday, 14 June 2008

• A long windy post....

  I've been asking myself a lot of questions lately.  Well, more accurately, I've been asking God a lot of questions recently.  I want to know why things happen, how to get over them, and what I must do to move on. 

  I remember watching a move with a friend a few nights back.  In part of the movie, the grandma turned to the girl and said, "You wish life were back to when you could just pray a heartfelt prayer and God would show you the answer?"
  The girl responded, "Exactly!  That's right!  I just don't know what to do!"
  The grandma said, "I have news for you, dear.  It still is that simple."

  How often I forget that the answer really is that simple!  I get so caught up in my fears, anxieties, and the worries that fill this life that I miss sight of the only thing that truly matters.  It reminds me of ants.

  I was watching an ant struggle in a tiny pool of water the other day.  I'm sure that it must have seemed huge to the ant, but to me, it was just a tiny puddle.  As I reached down to pick up the ant, the ant began to panic.  It strove to avoid me.  I discovered recently that most ants have either mediocre eyesight or are completely blind.  I can't remember where I read it, but several years back, I read that ants cannot see above them or from side to side.  They can only see straight ahead--and not very well at that.  From the three light sensors on the tops of their heads, they can sense when a shadow covers them, and they accordingly panic. 

  It struck me how much we are like ants.  We think that we can see the world around us oh-ever-so-well.  I'm sure that the ant doesn't imagine that there could be more to its world than there is.  In the same way, I'm sure that no fish will ever be able to understand the concept "dry" or the joy of being "dry".  No worm will ever be able to appreciate the wonder of flying.  To an extent, we are all limited by our physical abilities.  The virtue of seeing is that my other senses, such as hearing and touch, are not quite so crucial to my survival.  Our senses, whether in full capacity, limited capacity, or not in use at all, limit us from seeing the world in its entirety.  Our human natures--these bodies of ours--are the very things that prevent us from seeing the universe as God sees it. 
  As an ant would look at a piece of grass and stand in awe at its height, so we look at a cypress tree and stand in awe at its height.
  As an ant would look at a shoe and not be able to comprehend the immenseness of it all, so we stand at the foot of God, stare at His big toe and not comprehend.  The difference is that the ant doesn't really seem to try or care, while we claim we have already comprehended it all.

  How like the ant I am, as I drown in my little puddle.  The Hand of God reaches down to save me and work wonders in my life, but I frantically paddle away.  I can save myself.  If I just go long enough, I'm sure I'll find the shore.  I can't drown forever.  I'll make it on my own!  But somehow, the hand always catches me and pulls me to the shore.

  I can't even begin to imagine how much I don't comprehend about God.  Have I even begun to see a portion of his finger at work in my life?  When I think about the concept of "God", it's so easy for me to get lost in wonder.  Who is God?
  God is the personification of everything good.  He's the personification of every sunset.  He's the personification of every smile, laugh, or moment of joy we'll ever have.  He's the personification of friendship, love, and happiness.  Every single abstract noun we've ever learned--joy, happiness, love, kindness, wisdom, gentleness, faith, etc...--He's all of that made into a concrete noun!  That's the nerdiest way I've ever heard it put.
  God is the concrete form of all good abstract nouns.
  In addition to that, he's the personification of everything beautiful we've ever seen, everything good we've ever tasted, everything beautiful we've ever heard.

  My concept of God has already stretched beyond what I can begin to imagine.  What would a laugh look like in person?  What would friendship look like?  Or happiness?  Gentleness?  I can't begin to guess.  But God is that.  He is goodness.  He is love.  He is patience.  I think that someday, when I get to heaven, I'll look at God and only then will I ever be able to understand what is truly right and good--because I'll have seen It.

  Perhaps that's one reason for all the wrong in this world.  Because of our sin, we've never been clean enough to see Right.  We see bits and pieces, yes, but we still make room for gray areas.  I think that, someday, just looking on our Father will put every single one of those questions to rest at once. 
  We'll look at Him and see what justice is.
  We'll look at Him and know the meaning of wisdom.
  We'll look at Him and know the essence of perfection.
  We'll look at Him and the black and white will become as clear as noon and midnight.

  I can't wait.

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